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A literal interpretation of Jewish law says that only a man may start religious divorce proceedings, and he must do so voluntarily. A man would generally have a sefer k’ritot (scroll of severance) written to end the marriage. Some Orthodox authorities still hold strictly to this law, but Conservative, Reform, and even many Orthodox authorities agree that the wife may begin the process of the get by convening a beit din (rabbinical court). However, a woman cannot give a get, and she cannot force her husband to give her a get against his will.
Who may need a "get?"
Any Jewish person who has been married to another Jew of the opposite sex is eligible to receive a get. If you are a Jewish person who married someone who is not Jewish or married someone of the same sex, you are not eligible to receive a get and do not need one to be considered divorced.
If you are a Jewish person who did not have a religious marriage or were married by an official of another religion (for example, in a Unitarian, Episcopal, Methodist, Baha’i, Buddhist, or Hindu ceremony), you are still eligible to receive a get if your spouse is Jewish by birth. This is because halacha (Jewish law) accepts a marriage as valid once it has been performed, even if it was made without signing a ketubah (Jewish marriage contract).
Why would someone need a "get?"
If a person was married to someone of the opposite sex under Jewish law, that person cannot remarry under Jewish law without a get. Without a get, s/he would still be considered married under Jewish law, even if s/he received a divorce under state law (civil law). Also, without a get, children from any future marriages would be considered mamzerim (illegitimate) under Jewish law. You can also read What are “mamzerim?” How are they treated within Jewish communities? for more information. However, a woman who gets divorced under state law (civil law) can still legally remarry under state law without a get from her former husband.
Many Reform rabbis are willing to perform a wedding for a person who only has a civil divorce from his or her former spouse, but it is necessary to get a get to remarry in the Orthodox and Conservative communities. Reform, Reconstructionist, and unaffiliated Jews may still feel they need a get in order to conform to the strictest interpretation of the law.
Many non-religious Jews choose to marry under a chuppah (wedding canopy), sign a ketubah (marriage contract), and have a Jewish wedding performed by a rabbi or cantor. However, many non-religious Jews in heterosexual marriages may not realize that in order to remarry under Jewish law, they need to obtain a halachic (Jewish law) divorce. If you are a non-religious, unaffiliated, Reform, or Reconstructionist Jew who married in a Jewish wedding ceremony, you may wish to get a get so that you can remarry under Jewish law and have that marriage recognized by all denominations (streams) of Judaism. However, if this is not important to you, you may decide you do not need to pursue a get.
Orthodox authorities hold that Jews who were married in civil ceremonies must also receive a get in order to be able to remarry under Jewish law. If you were married under civil law, you may still want to get a get to conform with a strict interpretation of the law.
Are there proactive steps a couple can take to prevent a woman from becoming an “agunah”?
When a Jewish man and woman get married, there are some things they can do to help make sure the woman won’t become an agunah. An agunah is a “chained woman” who is stuck in a marriage because her husband won’t give her a Jewish divorce, called a get.
In the Conservative movement, couples may include the Lieberman Clause in their ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). In the Orthodox movement, couples may sign the Halachic Prenup. These are both types of agreements meant to stop men from being able to use get refusal as a way to pressure or control women.
Talking about religious divorce before getting married might feel uncomfortable, but it’s a smart and caring thing to do. It helps couples make sure they share the same values. Learning about Jewish marriage and divorce laws can empower a couple to make responsible choices. A couple can ask their rabbi to understand how things work in their Jewish community.
What is the Lieberman Clause?
The Lieberman Clause was created in the 1950s by Rabbi Lieberman in the Conservative movement. It’s a special part added to the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). It says that if the couple ever gets divorced, they agree to use a specific beit din (rabbinical court) and follow what it says about giving a get (Jewish divorce). Conservative rabbis later added a Letter of Intent, which is a separate document to make the agreement stronger in civil court.1 You can see examples of the Lieberman Clause and the Letter of Intent at RitualWell.org. (The Lieberman Clause is not used within the Orthodox movement.)
1 See the Rabbinical Assembly website and The Joint Bet Din of the Conservative Movement chapter in Hakol Kol Yaakov
What is the Halachic Prenup?
The Halachic Prenup was made in the 1990s by Rabbi Willig from the Orthodox movement. It is a legal document that a couple can sign before they get married. (If they sign it after they get married, it’s called a Halachic Postnup.) Signing the Halachic Prenup is especially popular in the Modern Orthodox Jewish community. Some rabbis even require it before doing the wedding.
The Halachic Prenup says that if the couple gets divorced, they will go to the rabbinical court called the Beit Din of America and follow its rulings about a get (Jewish divorce). It also says that if the couple separates, the husband must pay his wife a set amount of money each day until he gives her the get. This creates a financial reason for the husband to give the get quickly. If one spouse doesn’t follow the Halachic Prenup, the civil court might make him/her follow it since it is a binding legal agreement.1
To learn more, you can visit theprenup.org and the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA).
1 See The Prenup website
