When deciding the child’s best interests, the judge will look at all relevant factors, including:

• the wishes of the child’s parents and any de facto custodian as to the child’s custody – see Who can file for custody? for definition of “de facto custodian”;
• the child’s preference for who s/he wants to have custody - however, the judge will also consider any influence that a parent or de facto custodian may have over the child’s wishes;
• the interaction and relationship the child has with his/her parents, siblings, and any other person that might significantly affect the child’s best interest;
• the motivation of the adults participating in the custody proceeding;
• the child’s adjustment and continuing closeness (proximity) to his/her home, school and community;
• the mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
• a determination by the judge that domestic violence and abuse have been committed by one of the parties against the other party or against a child of the parties. The judge would then consider:
  • the extent to which the domestic violence and abuse have affected the child;
  • the extent to which the domestic violence and abuse have affected the child’s relationship to each party;
  • any efforts made towards completing a domestic violence program, treatment, or counseling;
• the extent to which the child has been cared for, nurtured, and financially supported by any de facto custodian;
• the intent of the parent(s) in placing the child with a de facto custodian;
• the reason(s) the child was placed under the care of a de facto custodian;
• whether the parent now seeking custody was previously prevented from doing so as a result of domestic violence; and
• the likelihood that a party will allow the child to have frequent, meaningful, and continuing contact with the other parent or de facto custodian. However, the judge will not consider this if the judge has determined that:
  • the other parent or de facto custodian committed domestic violence and abuse against the party or a child; and
  • a continuing relationship with the other parent will endanger the health or safety of either the party or the child.¹

Note: If you leave the family home as a result of physical harm by the other parent or if you were seriously threatened with physical harm by the other parent, this is not supposed to be held against you.²

¹ KRS § 403.270(2)
² KRS § 403.270(3)

If you are not comfortable with the abuser being alone with your child, you might be thinking about asking the judge to order that visits with your child be supervised. If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, you may not have much to lose by asking that the visits be supervised if you can present a valid reason for your request, although this may depend on your situation.

However, if there is no current court case, please get legal advice before you start a court case to ask for supervised visits. We strongly recommend that you talk to an attorney who specializes in custody matters to find out what you would have to prove to get the visits supervised and how long supervised visits would last, based on the facts of your case.

In the majority of cases, supervised visits are only a temporary measure. Although the exact visitation order will vary by state, county, or judge, the judge might order a professional to observe the other parent on a certain amount of visits or the visits might be supervised by a relative for a certain amount of time – and if there are no obvious problems, the visits may likely become unsupervised. Oftentimes, at the end of a case, the other parent ends up with more frequent and/ or longer visits than s/he had before you went into court or even some form of custody.

In some cases, to protect your child from immediate danger by the abuser, starting a case to ask for custody and supervised visits is appropriate. To find out what may be best in your situation, please go to KY Finding a Lawyer to seek out legal advice.

Under Kentucky law, the judge is generally supposed to assume that joint custody and equally shared parenting time is in the best interest of the child unless a party convinces the judge otherwise. However, the judge will not assume that custody and equally shared parenting time is in the best interest of the child if a domestic violence order is being issued or was issued against a party by the other party or on behalf of the child at issue in the custody hearing.

In addition, regardless of whether there is a domestic violence order or not, the judge must consider any finding (determination) by the judge that domestic violence and abuse have been committed by the other parent against you or against a child of the parties. The judge would look at the extent to which the domestic violence and abuse have affected the child and the child’s relationship to each party. However, the judge will also give consideration to efforts made by a party towards the completion of any domestic violence treatment, counseling, or program.¹

The law says that a parent who is not granted custody is entitled to reasonable visitation rights unless the judge finds (after a hearing) that visitation would seriously endanger the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health.² If the judge determines that there was domestic violence but the judge believes there should still be visitation, s/he should make a visitation arrangement which would not seriously endanger the physical, mental, or emotional health of the child or of the abused parent.³

Note: If either you or the other parent requests it, the judge is supposed to issue an order that specifically lays out how often visitation should be, how long the visits are, when it should take place, the conditions for the visits, and a method of scheduling visitation. The order should also reflect the development and age of the child.²

Often it is best to have a lawyer represent you in a custody case, especially one involving domestic violence issues. For legal organizations, see our KY Finding a Lawyer page.

¹ KRS §§ 403.270(3); 403.315
² KRS § 403.320(1)
³ KRS § 403.320(2)

If there is an order of joint custody and either parent wants to relocate, s/he has to file a written notice of relocation with the court and have it served upon the other parent. If the parents do not agree to the relocation, either parent can file a motion for change of custody or time-sharing within 20 days of when the notice of relocation was served. If both parents agree, they can make a written agreement to modify the time-sharing and file an “agreed order” with the court.¹

If there is an order of sole custody and the sole custodian wants to relocate, s/he has to file a written notice of relocation with the court and have it served upon the other parent. If the court-ordered visitation would be affected by the relocation, the non-custodial parent can file a motion objecting to the change in visitation within 20 days of when s/he was served with the notice.²

¹ Kentucky FCRPP 7(2)(a)
² Kentucky FCRPP 7(2)(b)

Legal Aid Network of Kentucky provides general information about custody issues in Kentucky, including what happens if both parents agree on parenting time, information on moving with a child, and more.

The Kentucky Bar Foundation has prepared a Pro Se Child Custody/ Parenting Time Instruction Packet and Forms to help parents file for custody on their own and represent themselves in court. It’s important to note that parents who represent themselves in court will be held to the same standards that lawyers are, and will have to follow the same rules. If you have any questions or concerns about representing yourself, please contact a lawyer before filing.  

Please note that WomensLaw.org is not affiliated with either of the organizations listed above and cannot vouch for the information contained on their sites.

Before you file for custody, you may consider making an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Parents often have to be flexible about custody and visitation for the child’s benefit. Parents who fight for sole custody may be in court for months or even years. And they may still end up with some sort of joint custody order after a settlement or trial.

However, sometimes, parents need to file for custody because they can’t agree with the other parent. You may also need to file for custody if the other parent is keeping the child from you or if you fear for the child’s well-being. If the other parent has committed domestic violence against you, s/he may try to keep power and control over you through the child. When there has been domestic violence, joint custody usually isn’t a good option due to the power difference in the relationship between the parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases can take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining, so please do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you and help you plan for your safety while in court.

You can watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos, where we explain legal concepts and the court process, to learn more about this topic. You can also read more about safety issues on the Safety Issues section of our Court System Basics page. 

In the following sections, we will discuss the steps that generally take place during the custody process. For precise information on how this process works in your county and state, you may want to contact a local lawyer.

The legal paperwork that starts a custody case is called a petition. You may file your custody petition in the family court or a court of a different name that hears custody cases. Generally, you will file in the county where the child lives.

The exact petition you file may depend on whether or not you are married to the child’s other parent, as you can see in the chart below.

Sometimes, non-parents can also file for custody or visitation rights. To find out about filing as a non-parent, talk to a lawyer.

The custody petition forms you need will be available at your local courthouse. Many forms are also available online. Some courts may have a court assistance officer or other staff who can help you complete the forms you need to file. However, court staff cannot advise or represent you. It’s best to get help from a lawyer to make sure that you have all of the forms and fill them out correctly. You can use our Kentucky Courthouse Locations, Download Court Forms, and Finding a Lawyer pages to find your county’s court, the forms, and local lawyers.

Depending on what’s going on with the child and the other parent, you may be able to ask for an emergency or temporary custody order when you file your petition. That may require appearing in front of the judge. However, in most cases, you will just file the petition, and then the clerk will tell you a date to return to court a few weeks or months later. If your child’s well-being is in danger, make sure to mention this on the petition and notify local authorities as needed. It may also be possible to file for a restraining order and get temporary custody as part of the restraining order.

After you file, the papers will need to be given to the other parent. This is called “service of process,” and there are specific rules on how to do it. You may want to ask the clerk for the instructions on how the other party must be served in your state.

There are two different ways that you might be able to get a final custody order – by coming to an agreement, or by going to trial.

Reach an agreement: In some situations, you and the other parent might be able to reach an agreement (settlement) about your child’s living arrangements. If the judge approves, your agreement could become the final custody order. This could allow you to keep some level of control over the outcome and help you avoid the stress and uncertainty of a trial. You and the other parent could negotiate an agreement by yourselves, with the help of your attorneys, or through mediation.

Go to trial: If you can’t agree or if it’s unsafe for you to deal with the other parent directly, the next step will be a trial. At that point, the judge will make all the decisions about custody based on what s/he believes is in your child’s best interests. During a trial, you or your attorney can present evidence and cross-examine the other parent. The other parent can do the same. If you are representing yourself, you can learn more about how to do this in our At the Hearing section.

If both parents agree on temporary custody, Kentucky law allows them to enter into a temporary custody agreement. It must be written down and signed by both parents and any other person who is going to have responsibility for the child during the deployment, such as a grandparent.¹ Think carefully about the details of your agreement, and make sure that everything you want to have happen with your child is included. Should the court ever need to get involved, the judge will likely only consider the written document and not any agreements you and the other parent may have made verbally.

Ideally, your agreement should contain the following information:

1. If you can, explain where the military parent will be deploying, how long s/he will be gone, and what the conditions of his/her deployment are;
2. Explain who will be taking care of the child, whether that is the deploying parent, the other parent, or any other person;
3. Explain who will have the right to make decisions about the child while the agreement is in effect. This could mean the parent remaining at home makes some types of decisions while the military parent must be consulted for other types of decisions. If a nonparent is going to be helping care for the child, such as a grandparent or a trusted friend, state what the limits of his/her authority will be;
4. If you are agreeing to any kind of limited contact for a nonparent, explain clearly what you are intending to allow;
5. If the child is going to be living both with a parent and a nonparent, explain how you intend to solve any disagreements that may come up;
6. Explain the contact the deploying parent will have with the child. You must include how often, how long, and what form  the contact will take, for example, Zoom, phone calls, texts, emails, etc. If the parent at home needs to do something to make that contact happen, state exactly what the parent at home needs to do and who will pay for any costs that are associated with the contact;
7. Explain what contact the deploying parent will have with the child while that parent is on leave or is otherwise available;
8. State that both parents are aware that this agreement cannot modify any child support payments that have already been ordered, and that if the child support needs to be changed during the deployment, the parties must contact the court that issued the child support order;
9. State that the temporary agreement will end after the deploying parent returns from the deployment; and
10. If the agreement must be filed with the court, state which parent will be responsible for filing it.²

It’s important to include as many of these things in your agreement as you can, but your agreement won’t be invalid just because you leave a few things out.³ However, you often can avoid a lot of problems down the road if you can make your agreement as complete as possible.

¹ KRS § 403A.201(1), (2)
² KRS § 403A.201(3)
³ KRS § 403A.201(4)

If you and the other parent agree on the change (“mutual consent,”) the temporary custody agreement you made to address either parent’s deployment can be changed.¹

If you make the change before the deploying parent leaves, your changes must be made in writing and signed by both parents. If there is anyone else who will be responsible for your child under your new arrangement, s/he needs to sign the agreement too.²

If you make the change after the deployment begins, your changes must be clearly documented in some way (“in a record”). You will need the consent of both parents, along with anyone else who will be responsible for your child under your new agreement.³

If you and the other parent do not agree about the change, you may want to talk to a Kentucky lawyer to find out what your options are. Go to our KY Finding a Lawyer page for referrals.

¹ KRS § 403A.203(1)
¹ KRS § 403A.203(2)
¹ KRS § 403A.203(3)

Kentucky judges cannot consider your deployment by itself to decide what is in the best interests of your child. This is true for past deployments and for any possible future deployments. However, the judge can consider any significant impact your military deployment may have on your child’s best interests.¹

¹ KRS § 403A.107