“Connected devices,” also known as smart devices, are physical objects that can connect with other systems via the internet or a data network. This lets you control them remotely through apps or a web browser. They may be programmed to turn on and off at certain pre-set times or they may be voice-controlled to complete activities on command. Some examples of connected devices include:

• location tracker accessories, such as AirTags and Tiles;
• smart speakers, such as the Amazon Echo;
• connected cars;
• thermostats;
• smart electrical outlets with lights or other devices plugged into them;
• entertainment systems, such as a stereo, TV, etc.;
• security cameras and motion detectors;
• smoke detectors;
• video doorbells;
• smart locks;
• smart appliances, such as a refrigerator, vacuum, etc.;
• “nanny cameras;”
• pet feeders, pet cameras, pet toys, and pet trackers; and
• smart toys.

You can use connected devices to help you in your daily life to do things like:

• control devices in your home remotely, such as the television, air conditioning, heating system, or the alarm system;
• install a security camera feature at your home that you can monitor remotely;
• use devices that allow you to control your car’s GPS device, locking mechanism, sound system, or allow you to start your car remotely; or
• use fitness watches to connect to a network to monitor your own movement and goals.

The misuse of technology described in How might an abuser misuse connected devices? can affect each individual victim differently. Some common effects of this sort of abusive behavior are that it could make you feel uncomfortable, scared, helpless, confused, or unstable.

An abuser could misuse this tech specifically to isolate you from others by threatening visitors and blocking physical access. For example, an abuser could remotely control the smart locks on your home to limit your ability to leave or return when you want to. A video doorbell could be used to monitor who comes to the door or harass your visitors remotely. In combination with a smart lock, a video doorbell could be used to prevent people from entering your home.

For safer use of connected devices, it can be helpful to know:

• exactly how your devices connect to one another;
• what information is available remotely; and
• what security and privacy features exist for your tech.

With this information, if a device begins operating in a way that you know you are not controlling, you may want to disconnect that device or remove it from the network. If you do not know how, try reading the device’s manual or speaking to tech support. NNEDV’s Safety Net Project’s Survivor Toolkit has resources that could help.

If you think a device is being misused, you can begin to document the incidents. A technology abuse log is one way to do this. These logs can be helpful in showing patterns and deciding next steps. They could be useful in building a legal case if you decide to pursue one.

In terms of protecting your physical safety, each survivor’s situation and risks are different. There isn’t one “right” way to protect yourself. If an abusive person is monitoring your devices and accounts, making changes to them may alert the abuser to the fact that you discovered this unauthorized access. In some situations, it could even erase evidence of the unauthorized access. Prioritize safety and trust your instincts.

It can help to make a safety plan with a domestic violence advocate. If you are already working with an advocate who does not have specialized knowledge of tech misuse, the advocate can ask for help from NNEDV’s Safety Net Project.

Online harassment is a pattern of behavior where someone tries to scare or hurt you using tech. It can happen through:

• email;
• messaging;
• social media;
• dating sites; and
• other platforms.  

Abusers who commit online harassment often do it to make you feel unsafe, humiliated, scared, emotionally distressed, or to keep power and control over you.  They may also be trying to:

• publicly embarrass you;
• sexually harass you;
• threaten you;
• dox you; and
• cyberbully, offend, or otherwise harass you.

Online harassment and cyberstalking look a lot alike. They also often happen at the same time. However, the laws covering each may differ.

Cyberstalking laws usually require proof of a few things. One is that the harassment made you feel scared that you or someone else was in immediate physical danger. Another is that the abuser knew or should have known it would make you feel that way.

Online harassment laws often don’t require proof that the abuser knew or should have known his/her actions would scare you. Instead, online harassment laws may require that:

• the abuser meant to annoy or alarm you, and possibly that s/he knew or should have known the actions would do that; and
• there was “no legitimate purpose” for his/her actions.

Both sets of laws usually require proof of a “course of conduct,” which means a pattern of incidents.

In many states, you can file for a restraining order against anyone who has stalked or harassed you regardless of your relationship with that person. Most states also include stalking as a reason to get a domestic violence restraining order and some include harassment as well. Please check the Restraining Orders page for your state to find out which restraining order may apply to your situation.

Another way to get a restraining order is from the criminal court if the stalker/harasser is arrested.

It can be helpful to keep track of any contact a stalker or harasser has with you by creating a log to document phone calls, drive-bys, messages, voicemails, or emails. Take screenshots of online harassment posts on social media and print them out. When printing harassing emails, print the header too, which has identifying information.  Save original messages and recordings. The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC) has a stalking incident log that you can use to record this information. And Safety Net, a project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, has a sample cyberstalking incident log with tips on how to best document evidence of tech abuse.

With or without a restraining order, there are things you can do to try to increase your safety. Go to our Safety Tips for Stalking Victims page for more information.

Here are a couple of resources you may want to look into to get additional information:

• Safety Net is a project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence  specializing in tech safety. Their Tech Safety website has resources for victims of tech abuse.
• The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC) has information on their website about stalking. It also has safety tips and resources.

In a relationship where there is domestic violence or stalking, an abuser may record you. This could mean recording your conversations or taking video of you. S/he can use the recordings to get more information about your personal life or even as a way to blackmail you by threatening to share intimate or embarrassing information, photos, or videos. Keeping you from having any privacy can also be a way to keep power and control over you. You can learn more about misusing recording technology on our Electronic Surveillance page.

The key to figuring out whether it is legal to take a photo or video of someone without their consent is whether the person would have a “reasonable expectation of privacy.” A “reasonable expectation of privacy” generally exists if someone is in a place where an “average person” would expect to not be seen or spied on.¹ If there is a reasonable expectation of privacy, then taking the photo or video without consent may likely be illegal. For example, if you are in a public place, such as a beach or a park, you may not have a reasonable expectation of privacy. If you are in your bedroom or a public restroom stall, you generally would reasonably expect privacy.

Many states have specific voyeurism or surveillance laws that could apply to taking a video or photo of someone without his/her permission. You can check your state’s Crimes page to look for any laws related to photos or videos.

¹ See Katz v. United States, 389 U.S. 347 (1967)

Most states do not have laws that specifically deal with spoofing technology itself. However, there is a federal law, which applies to all states, called the Truth in Caller ID Act. This law prohibits falsifying or spoofing caller ID to do any of the following:

• to cheat or trick someone out of something (defraud);
• to cause harm; or
• to wrongly obtain anything of value.¹ 

If a person breaks this law, s/he can be reported to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). S/he may face penalties of up to $10,000. 

Note: The law does allow people to use caller ID spoofing to protect their personal information and privacy if there are good intentions. For instance, victims of domestic violence who are concerned for their safety might mask their number if they have to call a relative of the abuser and don’t want their actual phone number revealed. The law only bans it being done to cause harm or to defraud anyone.

To learn more about the Truth in Caller ID Act, including information on how to make a complaint if you believe someone is spoofing you illegally, visit the FCC’s website.

¹ 47 U.S.C. § 227(e)

It can be very difficult to prove spoofing in court. A judge may not understand how an abuser can make phone calls when the phone number on your call log doesn’t match the abuser’s number. But there are some steps that a victim of spoofing can take to help the judge to better understand what is happening. Here are some things you may want to think about:

1. Similar times: Is there anything that you notice about the times of when the abuser usually calls/texts and when the spoofed calls/texts arrive? For example, let’s say the abuser works from 2 PM until midnight and, in the past, always called you right after midnight. Then, all of the calls/texts with the spoofed number came in at the exact same time. Perhaps that can be an indication that it is the abuser making the spoofed calls. The smaller the timeframe or the more unique the timeframe, the better.

2. Similar information: Are there any similarities between texts that you received from the abuser’s number and those from the spoofed ones? If all of the messages are written in a similar manner, with similar words, or with similar information, this can be an indication that it is the abuser making the spoofed texts.

3. Suspicious timing: Did the calls/texts start right after a certain event that can be proven in court? For example, let’s say you could show social media posts, voicemails, emails, or other proof of your breakup with the abuser. And then, the spoofed calls start immediately afterwards. This may help convince a judge that the abuser sent the calls/texts.

4. Other types of abuse: Is the abuser committing other acts of abuse that you can prove to the judge? Showing up at your home or work? Posting negative things about you online? (Sometimes, doing a Google search for your own name can reveal if the person is posting anything about you online). Proving to the judge that there are other forms of abuse going on during the same time period of harassing spoofed calls/texts could help convince the judge that it’s the abuser.

5. Evidence in court: Sometimes the best way to get evidence is actually to request help from the court. For example, you may be able to ask the judge to sign a subpoena for the abuser’s phone records. Phone records are often the most direct way to prove spoofing. Coming prepared with all of the information listed above may be useful in trying to convince the judge to sign such a subpoena. Sometimes, your number won’t show up on the phone call logs. This is because the abuser can call a spoofing number to call your number. In that case, only the spoofing number that the abuser used would show up on the phone records of the abuser. However, if the abuser’s phone records show that the abuser made calls at the exact time you received calls from the spoofed number, this may cause the judge to believe the abuser made those calls. However, comparing phone records is not a perfect answer because not all spoofing calls will be on the phone records. For example, if the person makes the spoofed calls through an app, you may need to request the records from the app itself; but you may not know which app was used. In fact, if the calls were made from an app and therefore do not appear on the abuser’s phone records, this could even harm your case. The judge may see this as proof that the abuser did not make the calls.

For more information about getting evidence for court, see the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges’ How to Gather Tech Evidence and 10 Steps for Presenting Evidence in Court.

Electronic surveillance is a broad term that is used to describe monitoring another person’s actions or conversations without his/her knowledge or consent by using one or more electronic devices or platforms.  

Electronic surveillance can be done by misusing cameras, social media, or other tech.  It can also involve stalkerware, also known as spyware, which can be installed on a computer, tablet, or smartphone. This allows someone to secretly monitor the activity on the device without the user’s knowledge.  It can allow the abusive person access to everything on the phone.  To learn more about stalkerware, visit Safety Net’s Survivor Toolkit. You can also go to the WomensLaw.org Crimes page to look for a specific law in your state involving stalkerware.

Whether electronic surveillance is legal or not may depend on whether the person doing the recording is part of the activity or conversation and your specific state’s laws on this issue.

If the person is part of the activity or conversation:
Many states allow someone to record a phone call, conversation, or activity as long as one person involved consents. This could be the person recording it who “gives consent.” Other states require that everyone who is part of the conversation or activity consents. You can read more in Is recording a conversation with another person illegal?

If the person is not part of the activity or conversation:
Depending on the state, there might be one or more laws that address:

• listening in on a private conversation;
• electronically recording a person’s conversation; and
• videotaping a person’s activities.  

The names of these laws vary across the country, but they often include wiretap, voyeurism, interception, and other recording laws. Deciding which law(s) may apply to your situation can be tricky. It often depends on the circumstances of the surveillance and whether you had a “reasonable expectation of privacy” while the abuser recorded or observed you.  Legally, a reasonable expectation of privacy exists when you are in a situation where an average person would expect to not be seen or spied on.¹ For example, a person in public places, such as in a football stadium or on a main street, may not reasonably expect privacy. A person in his/her bedroom or in a public restroom stall generally would.

¹ See Katz v. United States, 389 U.S. 347 (1967)

There are various laws that an abuser may be breaking by electronically surveilling or recording someone.   

Some states have specific laws that address the recording of telephone, online, or in-person conversations. It may be illegal for someone who is not a part of your conversation to record it without your consent. It may still be illegal even if you know that person is listening to you speak. Below, we give general definitions of various types of crimes. To read the language of the laws in your state, go to our Crimes page.

Wiretap is a form of electronic surveillance where a person monitors or records telephone communications.  Often people think of it as a way that police gather evidence.  But wiretaps are also misused by abusers and stalkers.

Interception is when someone who is not part of a conversation uses technology to interfere with it so that s/he can listen to or record it.  Interception laws usually apply to more than phone calls. These might include email and text messages.  Many states have either an interception law or a wiretap law. So if you don’t find one in your state, look for the other.

Eavesdropping also involves listening in on or recording another person’s private conversation without the consent of one or both of the parties. There are many ways to eavesdrop. Some are not high tech. For example, let’s say you are talking on a landline at home. Someone else can pick up another receiver in your home and listen in. Eavesdropping laws generally apply when there is a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Invasion of privacy is when someone observes, monitors, or records your personal or private activities.  This could be taking nude or partially nude photos or videos without your consent.  It could also be secretly filming sexual acts. 

Voyeurism means spying on someone for sexual pleasure.  It does not always involve filming or using tech. It may apply to physically spying on someone. If there is no “invasion of privacy” law in your state, check for a voyeurism law.

Impersonation generally refers to when someone uses a false identity for certain purposes. The impersonator commits acts for personal gain or to deceive or harm another person.

A person may be able to sue for money damages in civil court if a “tort,” which means a civil wrong, was committed against him/her. (See our Suing an Abuser for Money page for more information about civil lawsuits.) There are a few torts that might come into play when dealing with impersonation, which we explain below.

Defamation is a tort that refers to the act of saying or writing false information that damages a person’s reputation in the community. An abuser may have impersonated someone else to spread false and damaging statements about you. Or s/he may have impersonated you to spread false information. If the damaging statement is spoken, it may be considered slander. If it is written it may be considered libel.

For a statement to be considered slander or libel, the judge will generally require proof that:

• It was false;
• It was “published,” which  means a third party must have read or heard the statement;
• It caused harm to your reputation, which is often proven by showing one of two things:
  
  • that your business was negatively impacted; or
  • that you were subjected to public hatred, disapproval, disgrace, or ridicule.

False light is a tort that deals with being portrayed in a misleading or false way, causing harm to your emotional well-being. To prove false light, the courts generally require proof that:

1. The abuser attributed a statement or view to you that you do not hold, thereby placing you in a “false light;”
2. The statement or view puts you before the public in a very offensive and untrue manner; and
3. S/he acted with “actual malice,” which means s/he knew that the statement was false or didn’t care (“recklessly disregarded”) whether it was false or not.

Abuse is about someone seeking power and control over someone else. So, an abuser may misuse GPS to try to gain or keep control over you. For example, an abuser could use GPS to track your location as part of a pattern of stalking. Or perhaps an abuser wants to see where you have been to then misuse this information against you in a custody or divorce case, for example.

Because GPS-enabled devices can be so small and easily hidden, an abuser could hide a device in your belongings or car without you knowing. The GPS in your phone could also be used to track you. An abuser could get that information if s/he:

• shares a cell phone plan with you;
• can access your cell phone account; or
• has another way of accessing your information, such as:
  
  • through stalkerware;
  • through downloaded apps; or
  • when your devices are synced to the “cloud” or your computer.

Let’s say an abuser seems to know too much information about where you have been. Or s/he shows up in random locations that you did not share that you would be at. You may consider checking your belongings or car for hidden GPS-enabled devices. A GPS device might be connected to your car battery or under your dashboard so you might need the help of a mechanic to check your car.

GPS can be included in many different types of devices, so you may need to look for something that you do not recognize or that is out of the ordinary.  You may be able to get help from a professional to search your belongings, such as a law enforcement officer. If you find something, an attorney, advocate, or law enforcement might be able to help you figure out what it is and what to do with it. You may also find information about a device if you do an online search describing it.

In addition to looking for unknown devices, consider the GPS on your own devices. Devices to consider include your phone, computer, or “wearable” device like a smart watch. If you have children or live with other relatives, consider their devices too. If you have pets, their collars may have GPS-enabled tags to track them if they get lost.

Below are some of the more common forms of computer misuse, which can be considered a computer crime.

Hacking is when someone gains access to your computer without your permission or accesses more data or information than what you allowed. An abuser could gain access to your devices or accounts if s/he knows your passwords. S/he could also do so if s/he has the skills to break into them. Or s/he may use software designed to gain entry into your technology. This can all happen without you knowing.

Spyware and stalkerware are types of software that allow someone to secretly monitor or observe your computer activity. Once it is installed, an abuser can see and record what you type, the websites that you visit, your passwords, and other private information. It can be installed on smartphones and on other devices, such as tablets and computers without your knowledge. Someone can install it on your device in person or by sending attachments that will download the software onto your device when you click on a link or download the attachment. It can be difficult to notice or remove.

Phishing is a way that an abuser may use a text message, email, or call that looks real to trick you. You may also hear the term “smishing.” This is phishing by text message. The abuser may scam you into giving your personal information or an account password. S/he could then use it to steal your identity, monitor you, or log into your accounts.

Computer fraud is when someone uses computers or the internet to defraud people, companies, or government agencies. (To “defraud” someone means to get something of value through cheating or deceit, such as money or internet access.) An abuser might pose as someone else and defraud you or pose as you and defraud someone else to get you in legal trouble.

Identity theft involves getting someone else’s personal or financial information in order to misuse that person’s identity. An abuser could use your identity to do any of the following:

• destroy your credit score;
• attempt to make you lose your job;
• apply for or get public benefits in your name; or
• commit a crime in your name, thereby subjecting you to criminal consequences for his/her actions.

Abusers often use information that they already have available to steal an identity, such as a Social Security number, name and date of birth, residential history, or something else. Or s/he could get the information through hacking, stalkerware, or phishing.

It can be worrying to not know whether your tech is safe to use. Or to know that it is not safe, but to feel that you have no other options. Safety Net has resources to help you navigate these issues. Check out their information on Password Safety, Spyware and Stalkerware, and Securing Devices and Accounts.

There are several federal laws that address computer crimes, including the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act and the Wiretap Act. Many states also have specific laws that prohibit hacking, unauthorized access, computer trespass, or something similar.

The National Conference of State Legislatures lists computer crime laws and spyware and stalkerware laws on their website. You can go to our Crimes page in your state to see if we list any relevant crimes.

You may also be able to use the civil legal system to combat computer crimes. For example, you may be able to sue the abuser in civil court for money “damages” based on what you lost and other harms that you experienced. Civil courts provide other options as well. You may be able to ask a court to issue a civil restraining order that specifically prohibits accessing your personal data or committing any unauthorized access of your devices. Violating a restraining order could put the abuser in contempt of court, which could have civil or criminal consequences. Go to our Restraining Orders page to read about what types of civil restraining orders are available in your state.

It can be helpful to get legal advice or representation when filing something in court. You can find lawyer referrals on our Finding a Lawyer page. Or you can contact the National Crime Victim Bar Association for a lawyer referral.

Digital evidence, also known as electronic evidence, is information that:

• is stored on, received, or sent in a digital format by an electronic device; and  
• can be used in court to help prove abuse occurred.

Tech misuse often creates this type of evidence, such as when the abuser sends text messages or makes social media posts that contain threats. Those messages or posts, or screenshots of them, become digital evidence that can be used in court to help prove the threatening behavior. Also, if an abuser misuses tech to stalk a victim, there may be GPS data, video footage, or stalkerware purchases that can be used as evidence to help prove what happened.

Preparing for your case will depend on your state’s rules of evidence, the type of abuse you are experiencing, and other factors. Here are some things you may want to consider:

• You may be able to get the evidence you need directly through your own social media, phone, and other accounts. If not, you may have to request that a third party, such as a telephone company, provide you with the evidence you need. But, the company might refuse to provide it without a subpoena.
• Take pictures, screenshots, or printouts of any evidence on your phone or tablet. Then print them out so you can hand them into the judge in court if needed. If your evidence is only on your phone or tablet, you may be required to leave it with the judge until your hearing is over if you don’t have it printed out or saved in another format. You can read more about saving evidence on our Documenting/Saving Evidence page.
• Think about the testimony you plan to tell the judge and how your evidence fits with your testimony. In order to enter (“admit”) evidence in court, you will likely have to testify (“lay a foundation”) about:
  
  • how you came upon that evidence; and
  • how you know that it is the abuser who sent the messages, posted the social media posts, etc.
• Check with a lawyer in your state if you made a video or audio recording to capture evidence of the abuse. In some states, it may not be legal for you to record a conversation if the other person being recorded doesn’t know about it. You can read more about recording laws on our website.

It is helpful to work with a lawyer to prepare for a court hearing or get advice about what evidence you may be able to use in court.

If an abuser is using technology to abuse you, it is important to document the evidence as soon as possible. This is because an abuser may be able to access the technological evidence and delete it. Even if you don’t want to take legal action now, consider whether you might later on.

It may be your instinct to keep the abuser’s actions “away” from you. For instance, you might delete threatening messages from an abuser or block the abuser if s/he is harassing you on social media. This is a completely understandable response. However, before you do this, it’s important to think through how this could affect your ability to document evidence. If you delete messages, for example, this could permanently erase your ability to access them in the future. This can create a dilemma for many survivors who don’t want to erase evidence yet don’t want to be subjected to abusive technological contact. A couple of ways to minimize having to see the abusive material can be to:

• silence message text notifications from the abuser;
• set up a folder in your email account and create a “rule” for emails from the abuser’s email address to go straight to the separate folder.

Filtering the abuser’s communications will allow you to have access to the information when you want to without constantly having to see it.

Many courts use virtual platforms like Zoom or WebEx to hold court hearings remotely. Remote hearings can have some advantages, like not having to find childcare or pay for transportation and parking, and not needing to take as much time off from work as you would if you had to travel to court. Some people also find it less scary to testify when they aren’t in the same physical space as the abuser.

However, presenting evidence might be more difficult with remote hearings since it may require you to send evidence electronically ahead of the hearing. If your hearing is going to be virtual, make sure you find out from the court:

• what technology or platform the court uses;
• how you will join the hearing; and
• what to do/who you should contact if you have any technical difficulties during the hearing.

If you prefer an in-person hearing, you could ask the court whether you have the option to choose between a virtual or in-person hearing.

You can read more information about virtual hearings in our Quick Guide and the Virtual Hearings section of our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section.

Some states have specific laws that allow judges and law enforcement to use technology, such as GPS, in ways that are intended to protect victims of domestic violence or stalking. There are two types of GPS tracking – “active” and “passive.” Active tracking sends alerts if the abuser enters a location where s/he is prohibited. The alerts may be sent to you, to law enforcement, or to any court-ordered supervision agency that is monitoring the offender. An abuser wearing passive GPS tracking may only be required to upload his/her location history periodically. The location history may then be reviewed from time to time by a probation officer or it may be used as a tool by law enforcement if needed. Depending on your state, a judge may be able to order GPS tracking in a criminal or civil court case.

Virtual visitation can be an option if in-person visits are not safe, or not practical, for the child or parent. Some types of visitation technology allow a parent to record the visits, which creates a record of what was said during a visit. This could help capture proof of abusive behavior towards the child or inappropriate things the parent might say about the other parent. However, recording without consent is not allowed in all states. You can read more about recording laws and electronic surveillance on our website. But if you are thinking of recording a virtual visit, please speak to a lawyer to make sure it would not violate the law to do so.

Apps that track communications between parents can protect you in a few ways. If there is a dispute between you and your co-parent about what was said, there is an electronic record of it. Knowing communications may easily be seen by the judge might deter an abuser from using co-parenting communications to harass you. Alternatively, the log may help if you have to prove abuse or harassment in court or provide documentation to an attorney or law enforcement official.

These apps can also provide clear visitation schedules that clarify the custody arrangement when parents need to plan vacations or other activities. Using such tools therefore reduces the need for parents to speak in person or over the phone. This could reduce or eliminate your and your child’s exposure to high-conflict communications that may otherwise happen in person or over the phone.