Physical care means providing a home and routine care for the child.¹

Joint physical care means the parents have equal rights to care for and supervise the child. Both parents keep homes for the child, provide routine care, and share parenting time. ² 

Sole physical care, also called primary physical care, means the child regularly lives with one parent who provides routine care for him/her.¹ The other parent may or may not have visitation. The parent who the child regularly lives with may be called the “custodial parent.” The other parent may be called the “noncustodial parent.” If you have sole physical care, you are supposed to support your child’s relationship with the other parent.³

¹ Iowa Code § 598.1(7)
² Iowa Code § 598.1(4)
³ Iowa Code § 598.41(5)(b)

There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some parents decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Some parents fear that starting a court case will provoke the other parent. They may worry that the other parent will fight for more custody or visits than they are comfortable with.

Even if the other parent is uninvolved with the child now, s/he may become involved when a case is filed in court. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long time. This can be emotionally and financially draining. When you are in court for custody, the judge will look into many aspects of your personal life. For example, the judge may look into your mental health, criminal record, substance abuse issues, and relationships. You may prefer to keep these things private.

On the other hand, getting a custody order from a court can set out what legal rights each of the parents have, which can be a benefit. A custody order can give you the legal rights to make decisions about your child and have your child live with you. Without an order, both parents may share these legal rights, even if one parent takes care of the child daily. However, if you file for custody, the other parent may also request these rights. If you and the other parent don’t agree, the judge will decide what custody arrangement is best for the child. Under Iowa law, a temporary order of custody will also include a visitation schedule for the noncustodial parent unless the judge decides that visitation is not in the child’s best interest.¹

It’s important to get advice from a local lawyer. A lawyer can help you decide if filing for custody is best for you based on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by going to our IA Finding a Lawyer page.

¹ Iowa Code § 598.10(1)(b)

Iowa law requires all parents who are involved in a divorce or a custody and visitation case to attend a court-approved parenting class. The goal is to learn how children are affected by their parents’ separation or divorce.¹ The class may be called “Children in the Middle,” “Children in Between,” “Children Cope with Divorce,” or something similar.

Both parents are supposed to take this parenting class within 45 days of the court papers being served. Unless the judge has waived your attendance for a good reason (“good cause”), both parents have to take the class before the judge can issue a final order in your case.¹ Each parent must arrange to take the class and pay for the cost.² Contact the clerk of court in your county to find out which classes are accepted in your county.

¹ Iowa Code § 598.15(1) 
² Iowa Code § 598.15(2)

A parenting plan describes the custody and physical care arrangement and spells out when each parent will have time with the child.¹ You can come to an agreement on your own or through mediation and give your joint parenting plan to the judge. However, if you cannot agree, the judge will decide and make the order.

If either parent is asking for joint physical care, the judge may require both of you to submit your own proposed parenting plans. Each parent’s plan should explain:

• how you will make decisions affecting your child:
• how you will provide a home for your child;
• how your child’s time will be divided between you;
• how each parent will support your child’s time with the other parent;
• how you will share any expenses that aren’t covered by court-ordered child support;
• how you will resolve major changes or disagreements affecting your child, including changes that arise due to the child’s age and developmental needs; and
• any other issues the judge may require.²

The court has parenting plan forms you can use if you don’t have a lawyer. You can find links to get them on our IA Download Court Forms page.

If you are a domestic violence survivor, the parenting plan needs to be safe for you and your child. The best way to get help making a safe plan is to speak with a lawyer who knows about custody and domestic violence. You can go to our IA Finding a Lawyer page for legal referrals. However, if you’re on your own without a lawyer, you may find it helpful to read 10 Things to Know About Parenting Plans in Cases Involving Domestic Violence.

¹ See Iowa R. Civ. P. 17.200-Form 229, Form 230; Iowa R. Civ. P. 17.400-Form 429, Form 430
² Iowa Code § 598.41(5)(a)

When married parents separate or get divorced, either parent or both parents can get custody of the child.¹

If a child’s parents are not married, then the mother has sole custody of the child unless:

• the father has signed an acknowledgment of paternity; or
• a judge has ordered something else.²

After legal fatherhood (paternity) is established, the father has the right to file for custody or visitation.²

¹ Iowa Code § 598.41
² Iowa Code § 600B.40(1)

If a parent was convicted of first-degree murder of the child’s other parent, the murderer parent cannot get visitation with the child - unless the judge believes that visits would be in the child’s best interests. To make this decision, the judge must consider all of the following things:

• the child’s age and maturity level;
• if the child is developmentally mature enough to agree to the visits;
• if the child wants to visit the parent;
• the recommendation of the child’s custodian or legal guardian;
• the recommendation of the child counselor or a mental health professional who evaluated the child;
• the recommendation of the guardian ad litem for the child, if there is one; and
• any other information the judge thinks is relevant.¹

If a parent was convicted of a sex offense against a child, the judge must consider the parent’s criminal history to decide if it is in the child’s best interest to visit with the parent. All of the other best interest factors will be considered as well. However, a parent who was convicted of a sex offense against a child cannot get visitation while s/he is incarcerated. The parent also cannot get visitation while s/he is on probation or parole until s/he completes any court-ordered treatment program.

Note: If there is a custody/visitation order in place, and then a parent is incarcerated for a sex offense against a child, this is considered a “substantial change in circumstances” that could be a reason to change (modify) the order.²

¹ Iowa Code § 598.41B
² Iowa Code § 598.41A

To decide whether visitation is in the child’s best interest, the judge will look at all of the following things:

• how the child’s relationship with his/her parents, siblings, and other relatives compare to the child’s relationship with the grandparent or great-grandparent asking for visits;
• how far the grandparent or great-grandparent lives from the child;
• the child’s and parent’s schedules and free time;
• the child’s age;
• the child’s wishes and concerns about visiting the grandparent or great-grandparent, if the judge interviewed the child about this;
• the child’s health and safety;
• the mental and physical health of all involved;
• if the grandparent or great-grandparent acted in a way that resulted in a legal determination (finding) that a child was abused or neglected;
• if the grandparent or great-grandparent was convicted of or pleaded guilty to:
  • a criminal offense involving any child being abused or neglected; or
  • a criminal offense where the victim of the crime was a member of the family or household involved in this case;
• the wishes and concerns of the child’s parent; and
• anything else that the judge considers to be relevant to the best interest of the child.¹

¹ Iowa Code § 600C.1(1), (2), (3), (4)

If you and the other parent cannot agree about all issues related to custody, then the judge will decide. S/he must figure out what is in the best interest of the child by considering all of the following factors:

• whether each parent would be a suitable caretaker (custodian) for the child;
• whether the child’s psychological and emotional development will suffer if s/he does not have active contact with both parents;
• whether the parents can communicate with each other about the child’s needs;
• whether both parents actively cared for the child before and after the parents separated;
• whether each parent can support the other parent’s relationship with the child;
• whether the custody arrangement is what the child wants, or if the child is strongly against it; Note: The judge is supposed to consider how old and mature the child is when looking at this factor;
• whether the parents want or do not want joint custody;
• how far apart the parents live from each other;
• whether either parent allowed a registered sex offender to care for the child or have unsupervised access to the child;
• whether giving the abuser joint custody or unsupervised visitation would be a risk to the safety of the child, other children, or you; and
• whether there is a history of domestic abuse as defined by the law; - see Can a parent who committed domestic violence get custody or visitation? for more information.¹

Also, the judge will look carefully at how much contact each parent has allowed the other parent to have. This is a “significant factor” the judge would consider when deciding custody. A parent must have a very good reason (“just cause”) for not allowing the other parent to have as much contact as possible with the child. However, a history of domestic abuse counts as “just cause.”²

Note: If you left the home because the other parent committed domestic abuse, threatened you, or you feared s/he would harm you, the judge is not supposed to hold this against you.³ 

¹ Iowa Code § 598.41(3)
² Iowa Code § 598.41(1)(c)
³ Iowa Code § 598.41(1)(d)

You can usually only file for custody in Iowa if Iowa is your child’s “home state.” However, there are exceptions to the home state rule.

Iowa usually qualifies as your child’s “home state” if:

• your child lives in Iowa and has lived in Iowa for the last six months in a row;
• your child is no longer in Iowa, but:
  • Iowa is the last state where your child lived for at least six months in a row; and
  • one of the child’s parents still lives in Iowa; or
• your child is less than six months old but has lived in Iowa from birth.¹

Leaving Iowa for a short period of time, such as going on vacation, usually does not change the child’s home state.²

¹ Iowa Code §§ 598B.201(1)(a); 598B.102(7)
² Iowa Code § 598B.102(7)

You have a right to file for custody and to access the court system without a lawyer. However, child custody cases are often very complicated. It may be difficult for you to file a proper petition and go through court hearings without the help of a lawyer. Also, if the other parent has a lawyer it may be harder for you to represent yourself.

To find a lawyer or legal aid program in your area, please visit our IA Finding a Lawyer page. If you are a victim of domestic violence, it’s important to have a lawyer who is knowledgeable about domestic violence and custody matters. For a list of questions to ask before you hire a lawyer, you can read How do I pick the right attorney? What questions do I ask? in our Choosing and Working with a Lawyer section.

If you are going to be in court without a lawyer, our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section may help you.

The judge may appoint one or more of the following professionals in your case:

• guardian ad litem;
• attorney for the child;
• child custody investigator; or
• child and family reporter.¹

A guardian ad litem is a lawyer assigned to represent the best interest of your child.² His/her job is to convince the judge to do what s/he thinks is in the child’s best interest. 

An attorney for the child is a lawyer assigned to represent your child.³ His/her job is to convince the judge to do what his/her client, the child, wants. 

A guardian ad litem and an attorney for the child may do many of the same things in the court case, including:

• interview the child and the child’s parents or guardian; 
• have regular contact with your child while the case is going on;
• interview your child’s teachers, doctors, or other service providers and review and copy relevant records;
• attend the court dates; and
• file papers, present evidence, question witnesses, and otherwise fully participate in the hearings.⁴

A child custody investigator or child and family reporter is a professional assigned by the judge to get information about things related to the child and his/her best interest, including each parent’s home conditions and parenting abilities. The investigator or reporter writes a report and submits it to the court. The parents and their lawyers can also read the report. Usually, this report becomes part of the court record in the case.⁵

If the judge assigns any of these professionals to be part of your case, one or both of the parents may have to pay for it. However, the county may pay if a parent’s income is below a certain amount.⁶

¹ Iowa Code § 600B.40(4)
² Iowa Code § 598.12
³ Iowa Code § 598.12A
⁴ Iowa Code §§ 598.12; 598.12A
⁵ Iowa Code § 598.12B
⁶ Iowa Code §§ 598.12; 598.12A; 598.12B

Learn about what types of custody are available and how domestic violence might affect custody in your state. Think about what you will ask for, what would be best for your child, and what would be safest for both of you.  

You can prepare for court by gathering evidence that helps explain why you should have custody. Your evidence should relate to the “best interest factors” that a judge looks at to determine what’s best for your child. You can see How will a judge make a decision about custody? for more information.

Custody cases are complicated, so you may want to get a lawyer. If you can hire someone, you can use this list of questions as your guide when deciding which lawyer to choose. If you can’t hire a lawyer, you may at least want to try getting a free or low-cost consultation to help you make a legal strategy for your case.

The next step in the custody process is to have “preliminary” court dates. Preliminary means introductory or preparatory. These might have a different name in your state, such as “first appearance,” “status conference,” or something else. They are when certain issues can be dealt with in the early stages of the case. Some of the issues that might be dealt with are:

• problems with service of process;
• referrals to mediation;
• temporary custody and visitation orders; and
• pretrial motions.

During this stage, the judge will often give temporary custody and visitation orders that last while the case continues. In some cases, the judge may assign a guardian ad litem or an attorney for the child.

For more information to help you prepare for the preliminary court dates, go to our Before the Trial section. 

If you disagree with the judge’s order, there are a couple of legal actions you would need to file right away, such as a motion for reconsideration or an appeal.

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

Each state has a set time limit to file these actions, usually ranging from 10 to 60 days. To know your case’s exact timeframe, you should ask an attorney in your state.  

You might also be able to ask the judge to change your order in the future if there is a “substantial change of circumstances” after the case is decided. You can do this by filing a motion or petition to change (modify) the order. However, usually, this can only be filed under certain circumstances. Here are a few examples of events that might be considered substantial changes in circumstances:

• The other parent gets sent to jail or charged with child abuse or neglect;
• The other parent is not following the custody and visitation order; or
• Your child’s needs change in a big way.

Right after the judge enters the order, you have a few options:

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently. It must be based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal explains a mistake the judge made. It moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the judge’s decision.

You can learn more about these options in our After a Decision is Issued section.

On the other hand, a motion or petition to change (modify) the order is a legal request that would not be filed right away. See How can I change my custody and visitation order? for more information.

All of these options can be complicated, and you may want to talk to a lawyer in your state for advice. You can find legal referrals on our IA Finding a Lawyer page.

If you want to change (modify) your custody and visitation order, you can file a modification petition in court. However, generally, the judge will not change a final custody and visitation order unless:

• there has been a substantial change in circumstances after the final order was issued; and
• the change you are asking for is in the child’s best interest.¹

Note: Moving may be a reason to modify a custody order.² See What do I have to do if I want to move with my child? for more information.

If you and the other parent can’t agree about the custody arrangement, the judge can require you both to go to mediation. However, the judge cannot require mediation if s/he believes that:

• there is a history of domestic abuse; or
• mediation is likely to cause direct physical harm or significant emotional harm to your child, other children, or you.³

The judge can also change your custody and visitation order temporarily if either parent is in the military and deploying.⁴

¹ In re Marriage of Frederici, 338 N.W.2d 156 (Iowa 1983)
² Iowa Code § 598.21D
³ Iowa Code § 598.41(8)
⁴ Iowa Code § 598C.301

After you get a final custody order, there may come a time when you and your children move to a different state. You can learn about transferring a custody case to a different state on our general Custody page.

Keep in mind that parents often need to get permission from a judge or the other parent to move out of state with their children. Therefore, it’s important to talk to a lawyer before you move. A lawyer can help you make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.