Custody is the legal responsibility for the care and control of your minor child under 18. There are two types of custody: 

• Legal custody refers to the right to make major decisions about your child, including decisions about education, medical care, and religion.
• Physical custody includes the physical care and supervision of your child.¹ 

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-2(14)

Mediation is a process where both parents work with a qualified neutral person (a mediator) to reach an agreement about custody and visitation. The mediator doesn’t give legal advice. If the judge orders mediation, any information shared with the mediator is “privileged,” which means that it cannot be used in court.¹

The judge may order mediation at different stages of the case:

• Before a trial - to try to settle custody and visitation without going to trial;
• During a trial - if the judge is handling other issues aside from custody, like if there is an ongoing divorce, s/he may only deal with the non-custody issues until mediation is completed; then, there could be a separate trial for custody and visitation if mediation fails; or 
• After a trial - if a trial has taken place regarding non-custody issues, if there is an ongoing divorce, for example, the judge may rule on the other issues but wait to finalize custody and visitation. Then, if the parents reach a custody agreement in mediation, it can become part of the final order.²

Rhode Island law does not specifically allow domestic violence victims to opt out of mediation. However, mediation with an abuser is usually not a good idea because of the power imbalance. If you are a domestic violence survivor, you can tell the judge about your situation and ask not to be sent to mediation. 

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-29(c)
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-29(a), (b)

When deciding about custody, the judge must consider evidence of past or present domestic violence. Rhode Island law says domestic violence happens when your child’s other parent does any of the following to you:

• hurts or tries to hurt you physically;
• makes you afraid you will be seriously physically hurt in the immediate (imminent) future; or
• makes you have sexual relations by force, threat of force, or duress.¹

However, even if a parent has been abusive, the judge may still grant him/her custody or visitation rights. If the judge allows visits, s/he must do so in a way that protects the child and you from further harm.² As a condition for giving the abuser custody or visitation, the judge may order that the abuser:

• successfully complete a batterer’s intervention program;
• participate in a substance abuse program;
• post money or title to property (a bond) with the court to ensure the safety and return of the child;
• not be given the child’s address and telephone number; 
• exchange the child in a protected setting;
• have supervised visitation;
• not use or have alcohol or drugs during visits; and
• follow any other condition that the judge thinks is necessary to keep the child, you, or other household members safe.³

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(1), (g)(4)
² RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(1)
³ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(3)

In most cases, the abuser cannot get any custody or visitation if both of the following are true:

• The abuser was criminally convicted of:
  
  • first degree sexual assault;
  • second degree sexual assault;
  • first degree child molestation sexual assault; or
  • a similar crime in another state; and 
• You became pregnant (conceived) as a result of the sexual assault.¹  

However, there is one exception. The judge may allow supervised visitation and require the abuser to go to counseling, but only if both of the following are true:

• You are the child’s mother or legal guardian, and you agree; and
• After a hearing, the judge decides this is in the best interest of the child.¹

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(d)(4)

A sibling or step-sibling can file a petition to ask the court for visitation with a child. The judge will hold a hearing where the child’s parents can be present. To allow a sibling or step-sibling reasonable visitation rights, the judge must decide that all of the following are true:

• Visitation is in the best interest of the child;
• The sibling is a “fit and proper person” to have visitation;
• The sibling couldn’t visit the child during the 30 days before filing in court because the child’s parent or guardian didn’t allow it; 
• The sibling has no other way to see the child without a court order; and
• The sibling showed evidence that convinced the judge the parent’s refusal of visits was unreasonable.¹

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-24.3(b)

You can file for custody in Rhode Island if one of these is true:

1. Rhode Island is your child’s “home state.” This means Rhode Island is the last place where your child has lived for at least six months in a row;¹

2. Your child recently moved or was taken to another state, but Rhode Island was the home state. If your child has been in the new state for less than six months, and one of the parents or “a person acting as a parent” still lives in Rhode Island, you can file for custody here;

3. Another court could have taken the case, but decided not to. If another state had legal power (jurisdiction) but ruled that Rhode Island is the better place (more appropriate forum) to decide custody, you can file if:
   • your child and at least one of the parents or “a person acting as a parent” has a significant connection with Rhode Island, aside from just physically being here; and
   • there is substantial evidence in Rhode Island about your child’s care, safety, education (training), and relationships; or

4. No other state’s court has the legal power to decide custody. If no other state qualifies to make custody decisions because none of the reasons listed above apply to a different state, then Rhode Island may take the case.²

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-2(7)
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-13

A judge will decide custody based on what s/he believes is in the best interest of the child. To figure out what’s best for the child, the judge considers many factors, including:

1. the wishes of the parents regarding custody;
2. what the child wants, if s/he is old enough and mature enough to express a preference;
3. the interaction and relationship of the child with his/her parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interest; 
4. the child’s adjustment to his/her home, school, and community;
5. the mental and physical health of the child and both parents;
6. the stability of the child’s home environment; 
7. the moral fitness of the child’s parents; and
8. how willing and able each parent is to help the child have a close and continuous relationship with the other parent.¹

Getting public assistance is not a factor that will be considered by the judge in a custody decision.²

¹ Pettinato v. Pettinato, 582 A.2d 909 (R.I. 1990) 
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16 (d)(2)

Sometimes, the state where your custody case started may no longer be the most convenient place for it. This is known as an “inconvenient forum.” It often happens when one or both parents move to a different state with the child.

When this happens, either parent, the current judge, or a judge in a new state where you or the other parent wants to move the case can raise the issue of an inconvenient forum. The judge will consider the following factors to decide if the case should be moved to a new state:

• domestic violence - if there has been domestic violence, whether it’s likely to continue, and which state can better protect you and your child;
• time outside the state - how long your child has lived outside of the state where the case was originally litigated;
• distance - how far the Rhode Island court is from the other state’s court;
• finances - the financial situation of both parents;
• agreement - whether you and the other parent have agreed on which state should hear the case;
• location of evidence - the nature and location of the evidence needed to resolve the case, including your child’s testimony;
• speed of decision-making - how quickly each court can make a decision and each court’s procedures for presenting evidence; and
• familiarity with the case - how well each court knows the facts and issues in the case.¹

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-19(a), (b)(1)-(8)

If the other parent is not following the custody order, you can file a motion for contempt in family court. This means you’re asking the judge to take action because the other parent is not obeying the order. If the judge agrees that the order isn’t being followed, s/he can:

• punish the other parent;
• make sure the current order is followed; and
• issue a new order to make up for the violation, like giving a parent extra time with the child to make up for missed time.

If the parent who has primary custody (the custodial parent) refuses to let the other parent have visits two or more times, this could be a reason to take custody away from the custodial parent.¹ However, if a parent couldn’t follow the order because s/he was serving in the military or deployed out of state, that alone is not enough to change the custody or visitation order.²

If you are the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent is not using his/her visitation time, the judge usually won’t force him/her to use it. The reason behind this is that forcing a parent to spend time with the child if s/he doesn’t want to might not be in the child’s best interest. However, if the non-custodial parent keeps missing visits when you have joint physical custody, this might be a reason to ask for the order to be changed to sole physical custody. It’s a good idea to talk to a lawyer to help you figure out the best next steps. You can go to our Rhode Island Finding a Lawyer page to find lawyers in your area.

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(d)(1)
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(7)

After a final custody order is in place, there may come a time when you and your child move to a new state, and you want to transfer your custody case there. To learn how to request this, visit the Transferring a custody case to a different state section on our general Custody page. You can also read our Rhode Island-specific question, Can I change the state where my custody case is being heard?

However, before moving your child out of state, you may need permission from the judge or the other parent. Talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.