There are three main ways to establish paternity:

1. Marriage - If a child is born during the marriage or within 300 days after a divorce, the law assumes the spouses are the child’s parents.¹
    
2. Signing an acknowledgment of parentage - Parents can sign this form:
   
   • at the hospital when the child is born; or
   • at the Rhode Island Center for Vital Records after the birth.²
3. Going to court - A petition to establish parental rights and responsibilities can be filed in family court or superior court.³ The person filing it must provide the Social Security number of the person s/he believes is the father. If paternity is established, the court shares this information with the Office of Child Support Services.⁴ The petition can be filed by:
   
   • the child;
   • the person who gave birth;
   • the person whose parentage is being decided;
   • the Office of Child Support Services; or
   • a representative authorized by law.⁵

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-8.1-401
² Rhode Island Office of Child Support Services website
³ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-8.1-111
⁴ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-8.1-104(c), (e)
⁵ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-8.1-105

There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some people decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Some parents fear that starting a court case will provoke the other parent. They may fear that the other parent will fight for more custody or visits than they are comfortable with.

Even if the other parent is uninvolved with the child now, s/he may become involved when a case is filed in court. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long time. This can be emotionally and financially draining. When you are in court for custody, the judge will look into many aspects of your personal life. For example, the judge may look into your mental health, criminal record, substance abuse issues, and relationships. You may prefer to keep these things private.

On the other hand, getting a custody order from a court can set out what legal rights each of the parents has, which can be a benefit. A custody order can give you the legal rights to make decisions about your child and have your child live with you. Without an order, both parents may share these legal rights, even if one parent takes care of the child daily. However, if you file for custody, the other parent may also request these rights. If you and the other parent don’t agree, the judge will decide what custody arrangement is best for the child.

We strongly recommend that you get advice from a local lawyer. A lawyer can help you decide if filing for custody is best for you based on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by going to our Rhode Island Finding a Lawyer page.

When deciding about custody, the judge must consider evidence of past or present domestic violence. Rhode Island law says domestic violence happens when your child’s other parent does any of the following to you:

• hurts or tries to hurt you physically;
• makes you afraid you will be seriously physically hurt in the immediate (imminent) future; or
• makes you have sexual relations by force, threat of force, or duress.¹

However, even if a parent has been abusive, the judge may still grant him/her custody or visitation rights. If the judge allows visits, s/he must do so in a way that protects the child and you from further harm.² As a condition for giving the abuser custody or visitation, the judge may order that the abuser:

• successfully complete a batterer’s intervention program;
• participate in a substance abuse program;
• post money or title to property (a bond) with the court to ensure the safety and return of the child;
• not be given the child’s address and telephone number; 
• exchange the child in a protected setting;
• have supervised visitation;
• not use or have alcohol or drugs during visits; and
• follow any other condition that the judge thinks is necessary to keep the child, you, or other household members safe.³

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(1), (g)(4)
² RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(1)
³ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(3)

In most cases, the abuser cannot get any custody or visitation if both of the following are true:

• The abuser was criminally convicted of:
  
  • first degree sexual assault;
  • second degree sexual assault;
  • first degree child molestation sexual assault; or
  • a similar crime in another state; and 
• You became pregnant (conceived) as a result of the sexual assault.¹  

However, there is one exception. The judge may allow supervised visitation and require the abuser to go to counseling, but only if both of the following are true:

• You are the child’s mother or legal guardian, and you agree; and
• After a hearing, the judge decides this is in the best interest of the child.¹

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(d)(4)

A sibling or step-sibling can file a petition to ask the court for visitation with a child. The judge will hold a hearing where the child’s parents can be present. To allow a sibling or step-sibling reasonable visitation rights, the judge must decide that all of the following are true:

• Visitation is in the best interest of the child;
• The sibling is a “fit and proper person” to have visitation;
• The sibling couldn’t visit the child during the 30 days before filing in court because the child’s parent or guardian didn’t allow it; 
• The sibling has no other way to see the child without a court order; and
• The sibling showed evidence that convinced the judge the parent’s refusal of visits was unreasonable.¹
   

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-24.3(b)

A judge will decide custody based on what s/he believes is in the best interest of the child. To figure out what’s best for the child, the judge considers many factors, including:

1. the wishes of the parents regarding custody;
2. what the child wants, if s/he is old enough and mature enough to express a preference;
3. the interaction and relationship of the child with his/her parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interest; 
4. the child’s adjustment to his/her home, school, and community;
5. the mental and physical health of the child and both parents;
6. the stability of the child’s home environment; 
7. the moral fitness of the child’s parents; and
8. how willing and able each parent is to help the child have a close and continuous relationship with the other parent.¹

Getting public assistance is not a factor that will be considered by the judge in a custody decision.²

¹ Pettinato v. Pettinato, 582 A.2d 909 (R.I. 1990) 
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16 (d)(2)

You can file for custody in Rhode Island if one of these is true:

1. Rhode Island is your child’s “home state.” This means Rhode Island is the last place where your child has lived for at least six months in a row;¹
    
2. Your child recently moved or was taken to another state, but Rhode Island was the home state. If your child has been in the new state for less than six months, and one of the parents or “a person acting as a parent” still lives in Rhode Island, you can file for custody here;
    
3. Another court could have taken the case, but decided not to. If another state had legal power (jurisdiction) but ruled that Rhode Island is the better place (more appropriate forum) to decide custody, you can file if:
   • your child and at least one of the parents or “a person acting as a parent” has a significant connection with Rhode Island, aside from just physically being here; and
   • there is substantial evidence in Rhode Island about your child’s care, safety, education (training), and relationships; or
4. No other state’s court has the legal power to decide custody. If no other state qualifies to make custody decisions because none of the reasons listed above apply to a different state, then Rhode Island may take the case.²

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-2(7)
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-14.1-13

Learn about what types of custody are available and how domestic violence might affect custody in your state. Think about what you will ask for, what would be best for your child, and what would be safest for both of you. 

You can prepare for court by gathering evidence that helps explain why you should have custody. Your evidence should relate to the “best interest factors” that a judge looks at to determine what’s best for your child. You can see How will a judge make a decision about custody? for more information.

Custody cases are complicated, so you may want to get a lawyer. If you can hire someone, you can use this list of questions as your guide when deciding which lawyer to choose. If you can’t hire a lawyer, you may at least want to try getting a free or low-cost consultation to help you make a legal strategy for your case.

The next step in the custody process is to have “preliminary” court dates. Preliminary means introductory or preparatory. These might have a different name in your state, such as “first appearance,” “status conference,” or something else. They are when certain issues can be dealt with in the early stages of the case. Some of the issues that might be dealt with are:

• problems with service of process;
• referrals to mediation;
• temporary custody and visitation orders; and
• pretrial motions.

During this stage, the judge will often give temporary custody and visitation orders that last while the case continues. In some cases, the judge may assign a guardian ad litem or an attorney for the child.

For more information to help you prepare for the preliminary court dates, go to The first appearance in our Before the Trial section. 

If you disagree with the judge’s order, there are a couple of legal actions you would need to file right away, such as a motion for reconsideration or an appeal.

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

Each state has a set time limit to file these actions, usually ranging from 10 to 60 days. To know your case’s exact timeframe, you should ask an attorney in your state.  

You might also be able to ask the judge to change your order in the future if there is a “substantial change of circumstances” after the case is decided. You can do this by filing a motion or petition to change (modify) the order. However, usually, this can only be filed under certain circumstances. Here are a few examples of events that might be considered substantial changes in circumstances:

• The other parent gets sent to jail or charged with child abuse or neglect;
• The other parent is not following the custody and visitation order; or
• Your child’s needs change in a big way.

If the other parent is not following the custody order, you can file a motion for contempt in family court. This means you’re asking the judge to take action because the other parent is not obeying the order. If the judge agrees that the order isn’t being followed, s/he can:

• punish the other parent;
• make sure the current order is followed; and
• issue a new order to make up for the violation, like giving a parent extra time with the child to make up for missed time.

If the parent who has primary custody (the custodial parent) refuses to let the other parent have visits two or more times, this could be a reason to take custody away from the custodial parent.¹ However, if a parent couldn’t follow the order because s/he was serving in the military or deployed out of state, that alone is not enough to change the custody or visitation order.²

If you are the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent is not using his/her visitation time, the judge usually won’t force him/her to use it. The reason behind this is that forcing a parent to spend time with the child if s/he doesn’t want to might not be in the child’s best interest. However, if the non-custodial parent keeps missing visits when you have joint physical custody, this might be a reason to ask for the order to be changed to sole physical custody. It’s a good idea to talk to a lawyer to help you figure out the best next steps. You can go to our Rhode Island Finding a Lawyer page to find lawyers in your area.

¹ R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(d)(1)
² R.I. Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(7)

After a final custody order is in place, there may come a time when you and your child move to a new state, and you want to transfer your custody case there. To learn how to request this, visit the Transferring a custody case to a different state section on our general Custody page. You can also read our Rhode Island-specific question, Can I change the state where my custody case is being heard?

However, before moving your child out of state, you may need permission from the judge or the other parent. Talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.